How long to forget one person that hurt you?

How long to forget one person that hurt you?

Sometimes one year, sometimes 1 month, sometimes one day… sometimes 1 second.

Some says time is a river, of which memory is the water, we couldn’t scoop up the same water from the river. But how to deal with the person in my memory that hurt me?

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I do not know what your circumstances were. So there isn’t a way I can definitively answer your question.
I also do not believe that some flip phrase from the Bible such as “forgive your enemies” is a very Christian or loving answer. When we are hurt by people we are supposed to be able to trust (and most especially if we are children and it is parents or other family members) dealing with people who hurt you in the past is not a quick fix or a quick answer.

Know you are not alone. Know that God saw it all and therefore knows about it. As to why God does not protect, I do not know that myself. However, there is help in therapy with a professional skilled in trauma issues, and that can bring much relief.

But when these questions come up in Christian circles, I don’t hear anyone answering them. I myself have asked my own.

I hope, friend, that we both get not just answers, but helpful and kind ones.

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Maybe one or two weeks if this person is not a pastor.
I can easily forget a person who hurt me. Before becoming a Christian, I thought it was really bad, and I thought I lost my ability of hatred. But now I thought it might be a gift from God.

may can’t forget but forgive


Amen. In God’s love we can forgive our enemy. :wink:

Look upon the cross.

I like and also agree with Chrise’s opinion, we do need to forget if we can not do that, but we should forgive, cause God has forgiven us first…

If you are all Christians, you will meet in heaven. So don’t try to forget, but to reconciliate.

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Most of time, I just try to forget them and try to find more meaningful things from every day life.

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It depends on what kind of hurt I think. Some kinds of hurt are really difficult to be healed. Then it will be very difficult for you to forgive the person who brought this kind of hurt to you.

But only God can heal a person completely, then by God’s love, we can forgive.

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It took me quite a while. It took about 10 years. But after I believe in God, I try to love him.

It is up to our hearts as well as the time. Without God’s grace, we are unable to forgive one people who hurts us in a long time. But with the help of God, we still need some time to forgive.

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I do not think we can forget the persons who hurt us, and our body is very honest. However, God tells us we should forgive others for their sins if they hurt us. To forgive does not mean to forget.

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When I did not accept God’s love and God’s words, I have hated a person about 20 years. Yet when I am in the love of God, I am in the words of God, I forgive the person who was against me immediately.

It could be life long, if I don’t forgive the person. For me, truly because I got to know God forgave me because Jesus died for my sin, I could forgive ones who hurt me.

i think time cannot heal us, we need experience God’s grace

I am not sure. Maybe short, maybe long, and maybe never forget. But unless I forgive him, or this question would be in vain.

In my case, it really takes time for me to forget the person who hurt me. It took me years and honestly it still sinks in now. It really depends upon the situation, reason and cause of the pain. While waiting for healing, always pray to God to grant you a forgiving heart.

Let go.

The more you hold on to the hurt, the more power you give that person/memory.
The next step is acceptance that you have been hurt, of the consequences of that hurt, and the actions that that might have pushed you to take.

Since I do not know the circumstances regarding this hurt, I am making a general advice.

Every time you remember the pain, let it push you to pray to Jesus. Focus on Him, on His love. When you remember hurt, remember Jesus undying love for you. This way, you teach your mind that when it reminds you of hurt, you are overwhelmed with the great love God has for you. :heart: