I want to enter marriage, but it seems I still don’t meet the right person God prepared. How to prepare? Just pray and wait???
Don’t look for your spouse to be your savior. Your spouse cannot give you what only Jesus can provide for you. And, if you enter marriage thinking otherwise, you’re off to a rocky start. “A spouse cannot heal your deepest hurts, fulfill your deepest longings or read your mind,” Crum notes.
Marriage is not about what you receive from being married, but what you bring to the marriage. Marriage is not a 50/50 effort—it is a 100/100 endeavor. “If God loved us only 50%, we’d be in constant trouble,” Crum says. “As followers of Christ, the Gospel compels us to give without expectation of receiving. If we have an expectation of receiving, then we keep score, which leads to giving ourselves grace and making more of what we do and being highly critical of our spouse for not providing what we think we need,” he explains.
Your “love tank” needs to be filled through the work of the Gospel in Christ, and not by your spouse. If you find that you are fully loved and delighted in Christ, you are going to be able to love without expectations. “You love, not because your spouse deserves it or has earned it, but because you have first been loved by God when you didn’t deserve it, when you haven’t earned it, when you weren’t lovable. This enables you to love through tough times, hurtful times and times when you are not loved back,” Crum says.
Don’t go into marriage thinking you have a back door. If you enter marriage thinking you can simply get divorced if things don’t work out, when things get tough, you’re going to walk away. “Enter marriage knowing the Gospel is able to prevail over anything. I’ve watched couples work through very difficult situations because the Gospel brings great hope,” adds Crum.
Find what is biblically normal for your marriage, and stop comparing yourself to other couples. “We look at Scripture and God to find our norm, not to other couples,” Crum explains. “For example, what does healthy communication look like in your marriage? It’s o.k. if your normal communication is loud and passionate, but if it goes into attacking, you’ve gone outside of your biblical norm,” he says. Rule of thumb in finding your biblical norm: Be quick to forgive; be quick to serve; and be quick to extend grace.
Affection is a loving gift we give to our spouse. Don’t withhold affection as punishment or use it as a reward. “Affection is driven by seeking to express our love in the fullest fashion. We forgive, we listen, we extend affection. If we don’t see love as an act of service, we end up seeing affection as the one act we can control,” Crum notes.
The most important thing when you’re marrying is character. So prepare yourself well first and God will bless you with a good mate.
I have to say something to you that you must prepare that you would be single forever.
“the right person God prepared” What if God does not prepare anybody for you? Have you ever thought of?
You should follow God’s will and do not be your own God.
The first thing that you should pray for if God wants you to be single.
I think many single Christians have this kind of worry. But some of us do not consider waiting fun. Because we live in a culture of instant messaging and instant feedback. We want what we want now!
But marriage is one thing that cannot be hurried. Prepare your heart to wait for God’s timing. He will bring the right person along at just the right time.
There’s a saying, “God is never early; He is never late. God is always on time”.
That’s absolutely true… God may not be running on your time schedule, but He’s perfectly on time every time!
Do not be hasty in choosing your life partner. Be prepared to wait for God to reveal the person He’s planned for you. His will is always the best, and it’s always worth waiting for.
Pray is really important. Pray everyday. At the same time you should think about how to be a right person for others. Pray for your self.