My testimony… a long read but I hope you’ll take the time to read what I’m about to share.
I felt I needed to share my testimony and what God brought me out of and forgave me for.
From the time I was 14 years old to the time I was 29 I had a serious drug and alcohol addiction, I was a thief, a playboy that was very promiscuous, addicted to porn, severely selfish and angry, a huge liar and very untrustworthy. I believed in God but didn’t care, I was going to do what I wanted. I’d befriend someone to their face but would then would steal from them monetarily or relationally. I was a terrible father and an even worse husband. All-in-all, I was a bad man.
Then one evening I was at a party drinking and snorting cocaine, when God hit me upside the head with what I call “His Holy 2x4”. He showed me how utterly lost I was, how my soul was the blackest of black and the road I was heading down was headed towards nothing but destruction and despair.
I then began to bawl, uncontrollably, like never before. A deep cry of shame and despondency.
A couple months later, September 1, 1993, I gave my heart, mind, and soul over to the Lord Jesus Christ and was baptized that evening.
I gave up the drinking almost right away and the drugs shortly after. I stopped stealing and ended the playboy life and the porn.
I’d love to say that my life from then on to today was a cake walk but I still struggled with a few things like anger and impatience. I wasn’t the best of dads and got divorced again after 23 years of marriage.
I still struggle with relationships that are not in God’s will, I still get angry and impatient, I don’t act in a Christ loving way towards people and towards those I love. But I’m getting there, getting stronger, growing in my walk with the Lord everyday.
Yes, I’m a sinful, hypocritical Christian, but I ask for forgiveness every single day and throughout every day.
God works on me all the time, in a loving, compassionate way. He disciplines me like any loving father would, but it’s nothing more than I can bear.
God forgave me for my past and continues to forgive me every single day of my life and I know He will everyday to the day that I die when I hope and pray to hear Him say “well done good and faithful servant!”