Hi. my name is raghavi from chennai, india. I’m not well mentally. Im unmarried. I registered in matrimony. I met one guy thru ths. He was very spiritual in the beginning & now he’s nt. I prayed to god to confirm tat he is my future spouse or nt. So i got a dream. His face came. He also prayed for his future wife & he2 got my face twice in his dream. But aftr tat he lost his job & he didn’t get job from nw. It has been two yrs. he was financially suffering so wat he did is, he started chatting with girls & earning money. Chatting like sex chat. Ths i came to one week before. He itself said tat he’s dng like ths. And I fought with him & I just avoid to speak with him but i couldn’t able to stop my crying. It hurts me alot. I couldn’t able to pray also. But god is with me. I dono wat to do. I don’t like to live in ths wrld bt i wnt take bad decision like suicide. But i couldn’t able to do anything. Please pray for me. Im very stressful. plz guide me.
Hello @Raghavi_Rags, Welcome to Crossmap Community. Glad you are here.
Let me try to post something biblical and practical.
There are very good examples about marriage in the bible starting from ancestors of faith in the book of Genesis, especially the story of Issac and Rebekah from Genesis 24. There is much to learn from this chapter. Most importantly in the book of I Corinthians 7 Apostle Paul speaks extensively about marriage. If you are seeking biblical guidance, I suggest you read and mediate this chapter carefully.
Marriage is something that will affect the rest of your life and any decision regarding marriage should be taken very seriously. Honestly speaking about what you have written here
brings me concern. God surely shows signs through visions and dreams. But when it comes to decisions like marriage it is very important not to just rely on visions on dreams as primary communication method to God. Your primary communication method with God should strictly and purely be from the scriptures to know what is the will of God.
Most importantly, you should be advised by elders. I understand that this is a topic in a South Indian culture people would not want to discuss with elders such as Church Pastors or Elders at home freely. But you must understand the topic of marriage is not like any other topic that would not have much influence over your life. It is a deep topic of concern that would honestly rip your life apart if not done properly. Therefore it needs a lot of prayers, advice and obedience.
Jesus says in Mark 10:9 that once done donot break the law of God by breaking the marriage. Therefore marriage is not something that you want to test it out and then undo it if you donot like it. It simply can’t go that way according to Biblical standard and God’s standard. I hope you understand clearly.
It is good to choose your better-half by yourself. But you should learn to be flexible and be ready to listen to elders advice. Please approach a mature and trusted person locally and discuss your issue. Friends advice can be sometimes misleading - though they can be of help to a small extent they are not the ones that truly care for you like God who wants your life to be beautiful and promote God’s glory. I hope you understand this clearly and do not take this lightly.
God bless you!
Do post here if you have more questions.
Praying for you. I agree with what @Moses_C wrote. I also think that you should not marry this person. He has already shown that he is cold hearted toward you and other women by doing what he is doing. Paul said in the New Testament that men are to love their wives the way Christ loved the church and gave His life for her.
This man is not even partly an example of that. You are of faith, he only claims to be of faith. I would seriously doubt his “claim” to be Christian.
Also, I understand why you feel like you’d rather not have to live when you are in this much pain. Please, don’t make this temporary problem an eternal problem by taking your life. @Raghavi_Rags, God loves you. He has something good in store for you. Keep praying and try to read as much of the Bible as you safely can.
Thank u so much. Sure,i’ll do. I remember one thng when i was reading I Corinthians chapter 7. I thnk a year ago, i just askd one of my elderly spiritual person abt ths person.Thn he told me to read the same I Corinthians 7:12 - 16. And also he told me that he was praying for my future spouse & he sent me bible verses from ruth chapter 3. so i was confused & thn i askd him whether someone is telling to wait or?he replied,yes.but he told me to wait for gods response & told me to keep in prayer. This person only told me to wait for our marriage in the beginning so i just confirmed again that he’s my future spouse.But later these things are happened. And i spoke with one of my spiritual frd yday. She also told me to keep in prayer & wait for gods reply. She said, she was Shocked by hearing ths but one side he is nearing to the hell, we shouldn’t leave that guy instead of saving. One person is gng to hell in front of our eyes, she said. And another side, may be bcz of his parents,she said. And yes,i remember when he was talking abt his parents, thy are money minded & he is staying away frm his parents for his job purpose. His parents doesnt knw that he is jobless for 2yrs.Thy are nt so spiritual. And thy are looking a girl in a same caste. I dono how thy r looking caste aftr accepting jesus in their lives. I thnk thy are not baptized properly (no changes in heart). But ths person was so spiritual in the beginning.he used to teach me from the bible. He use to say that we need holy Spirit in our life to live holy life but we didn’t ask for it.i thnk we both did a mistake. If we would hve receive holy Spirit, i thnk he wouldn’t cme ths far.he must be saved i thnk.but still, I’m keeping in my prayer.
@Raghavi_Rags Good things you are doing here. Praying is very important. Also reading the Bible as much as you can.
I would suggest that you read the following in your Bible and pray and ask God to confirm or deny if this is what has happened with this man whom you have been thinking will be your husband. God knows, I do not.
1 John 2:19 New International Version (NIV)
19 They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us.
If you don’t understand this quote, read 1 John 1 then 1 John 2 all the way through. That should clarify it. Praying God will help guide you.
Yes. Exactly. Thank u for ur kind words. I was thinking the same whch u hve told abve abt the person. But still I dono gods plan bcz of the past remembrance with him if u read in reply with @moses_c. Anyway, I stopped talking with him. I blocked his contact. Just Keeping in my prayer. But i remember one thing whch he said before. He got one dream & he told me that god told him to built church somewhere outside of india. He mentioned foreign country.
Ya sure…I’ll!..Thank u. I’ll read more bible words from today onwards.
Hi there @Raghavi_Rags!Praying for the best! How are things going on now? God bless you!
Hi @kianna, I’m good by God’s grace. I came out from tat person bt still I’m not peaceful. God will make a way I hope.
It is nice to hear from you @Raghavi_Rags! Never lose hope in God! I will include you in my prayers! We are all in this together! God bless you and do not give up! the Lord God is far greater and more powerful than our struggles! Keep safe!!
hello @Raghavi_Rags , it must be really hard for you to face that situation, May the good Lord bless you and may you feel His presence in the times like this.
for Psalms 147:3 said He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds ; I know it will not be fast as you wish, but it will day by day.
when i was in my early 20s there was a book that i read, “What to do Until Love finds you” by Michelle Mckinney Hammond , (you can download the PDF or read it online )
book tackled in chapter 4 “Dealing with Dreams” book advise for us to see the man of our dreams, we need to fix our life first to be someone else’s dream; as we think so we are , our fantasies, if controlled, have a way of exalting themselves against the knowledge of God’s will in our lives
you can do it, God is watching over you, someone is waiting for you too,
God is always one prayer a way, even you cant pray, Just say it… He hears you. warm hugs God bless you
Thank you so much @kianna.
Thank you @Jojoy. I thank god for giving me spiritual guidance through you all. I tried downloading the book but I couldn’t able to find pdf file online.
Still I was not able to move fully from that person because I borrowed 7 lakhs from my bank account to help him. I need to ask him every month to pay my EMI. He use to put an amount to my account whenever he gets money but sometimes he won’t. So I will be asking that money and we both use to talk as before again. I don’t how to come out of this loan. In my family, nobody knew about this loan. I lost my job too. I don’t know how I’m going to manage and I don’t know where it will end!. I’m not able to forget his memories also. Pray for me. Thank You!
Lord I pray for this women to be in good hands. Please stay her away from the man who hurt her. This man don’t deserves her love, her care and all of her.
hey there @Raghavi_Rags We are praying for you
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and harm not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future” -Jeremiah 29:11
Please remember that God has a plan. Though life sometimes seems crazy and spinning out of control, ultimately, He has a purpose for you. Though you may feel like you’re walking through life without a clue, God knows every little thing about you. And there is a reason for who you are and where you are right now. Keep fighting.
We will always be here praying for you. God is here to guide you every step of the way, through the pain and hardships. I hope you are doing well and may you continue strengthening your faith in God. His plans are greater than we could have ever imagined. Keep doing what you’re doing. Stay safe and God bless you always.
Hi @Raghavi_Rags! I’m sorry to hear about your story. How are you now? I noticed that it is almost a year since you posted this. I hope that you are doing fine. I’ve read that you had gathered up the courage to let your man go. I’m happy to hear that. God is with you. I will be praying for your complete healing. You can do it! You’re not alone! God bless you!
Hi @Raghavi_Rags you may click the link and download the book for free. Me and my mom is praying for you.
God will bless you abundantly, let Go and Let God you dont have to carry your burdens alone. I do also advise to say it with your close family so they may guide you and someone who could you trust.
Keep on fighting, im looking forward to know that you already forget the person who broke your heart, keep the faith. And always believe in Love.
Thanks for your prayers. But still I’m in confusion bcz I shared all these things with one of my spiritual neighbor, he said “Keep praying for him. If he calls, tell him the right path; of her listens and turns back, ok. But needs time to answer.” So on the same he called me aftr some days & he felt bad on wat he has done & askd me to forgive bt I don’t like to speak on tat tym, I was yelling at him. I could nt forgive him bt the Lord speaks me to forgive. I forgve him. But still he is not like in the beginning (he use to speak more abt god), he use to see sex videos and told me to watch bt I refused & fought with him & I blocked his number. Bt he use to take step to avoid seeing those videos. He told me one day tat he was doing excerise daily to get away frm ths mindset bt tat can’t help to get away frm sin,only God can. I don’t knw wat God has for me. If he is nt my future spouse, God will help me to move away I hope.
Hello, dear @Raghavi_Rags
Please, stay calm. This is the first step, breathe very slowly and get your own rythim until you feel comfortable.
Welcome to the community. Let me say to you that you are wise in looking for guidance and help in faith and God, it’s the way to find true solutions.
Now about your situation, keep calm and think about it, your situation has a solution! It may sound simplistic, but your husband needs to find a job, talk to each other talk to friends family and find one, tell him how you feel and how that what he’s doing is not okay to you and neither God. It’s common sense. Pray and keep faith in God, he’ll help you through this. Patience, faith and control. With God and love everything can be solved.
Kind regards, Luis Guerrero